Fishing is the best therapy..

So I have gone fishing a couple of times this last week. I honestly lOVE sitting on the lake and just soaking in the fresh air and sunshine. The wind picked up but, all in all it was a fun time. Here is a picture of the lake we were on..

                              This is a picture of the first fish I caught on Friday evening.

Owen was pretty well behaved on Friday and was very interested in helping me fish. Today, he was not so much. All he wanted to do was talk to the dogs and get in the water with them. At first it was cute, then it just got frustrating. He was being a little monster!! But I guess that is what you get when you take a one year old fishing.

My niece also was a peach while we were out today. She wouldn't fish with bait because it was a living thing. (I don't understand why she wanted to go fishing in the first place if that is the case). Then after the first fish was caught and the hook was in pretty deep, she was crying and got in the water with it to try and make it live, when clearly it was already dead. Poor girl... I felt bad. But, if you're going to go fishing, you have to realize that some fish are going to get caught & then eaten.

I just got O to sleep & will be up somewhat late packaging and addressing Mother's Day baskets to ship out in the a.m. Hope everyone had a wonderful Sunday. (:

Heartache.

I have not been very good at this whole blogging bit. I lOVE to fill you in on our lives and new adventures... but I have been way too busy & way too stressed out to worry about it. Isn't that the story of our lives? Too busy & over stressed...

I give credit to all of the women and/or men who have endured more than one deployment with their spouse away.... cause I think it's for the birds. Seriously, I have never been so grateful to have an extra hand just to carry a bag out to my car. I don't ever want to take Stephen for granted.. he does SO much and helps out so much while he is home. Speaking of home... I soon will be driving back to Michigan. What's that you say? I said that a month ago? Well you are right. I have actually been to Michigan and back to Wyoming in the last couple of weeks. I hit a deer with my car and totalled it. Therefore, flying out to MI, buying a new car & driving back the 307. Why not stay in Michigan you ask? Well, I had a very large order of Mother's Day baskets to do, surgery and a few other things in between. Life has taken me, thrown me a blender and turned it on HIGH.

 I am over heartache today. Most of you will find out this stuff one way or the other so I'm just going to come out and say it. I miscarried. This time it was a bit more complicated and I thought that I was finally alright and had accepted it. Well, a couple of weeks later and it has taken its toll on me. I am devastated. Yes folks, I am alright. But, going to the doctor and discovering you are 14 weeks pregnant, with not one baby, but two.(14 weeks roughly because I don't remember how far along I was when I found out) I was ECSTATIC ( so was the Hubster)! I have always wanted twins. I am a twin and although we don't always get along, I loved growing up with someone there with me all the time.

Well there were complications and Baby "B" was not growing at the same rate as Baby "A". I set up another appointment for the following week to see if there was a change in condition with Baby "B". This was terrible, seeing as how Stephen is across the world and I couldn't console him and he couldn't hold me while I had a major breakdown. So I went back to the doctor and Baby "B" didn't have a heartbeat. It actually turns out that neither of them could make it because of complications with everything. I had to drive home and wait for Stephen to call and deliver the bad news. But I will have all of you know... I KEPT IT TOGETHER. I still basically kept it together until today, then I sat here and cried into my lap for a good 2 hours.

Anyways... we scheduled surgery to have both babies removed for May 9th so that we had the possibility of getting Stephen home to be here with me & O. Long story shorter... while I was in Michigan, waiting to come back to Wyoming to have surgery in Utah, I miscarried. A long and sad and painful night in the hospital with just my little man to make me feel better. The few of you who knew or think you knew, sorry I haven't filled you in on all of this. I just couldn't face it then. I also will have you know, that I carried those little boys for 17 weeks.

I realize that God has a plan and that our families are already chosen for us. Sometimes I just don't understand why the things happen the way that they do. But, today I had a minor freakout... on Stephen, on myself. I seriously thought that I was going to lose my marbles. I apologize honey, you are my light. I will never do that again.

 After much contemplation and prayer today, I know that I will heal from all of this. I just need to keep the faith. Which right now, I am holding on to it for dear life.

March Madness.

March Madness... and I'm not talking about basketball. As of right now Stephen has been gone for 3 whole months. :(
But, between Owen being sick and me being sick... it has gone by pretty quickly. It is also our 3 month Anniversary! I can't believe that we have already been married for that long. Probably because married life is so much like single life, I'm all alone.

Right now we are out in WYOMING. One of my very best friends from high school got married and I couldn't miss it. Here is a picture of us from the night. This is the first time we had all been together in about 4 years..

It was so nice to finally catch up and I even had a couple hours without O. Thanks sista for watching him. (: A few days later we picked up my niece from the airport and it has been a great week with her here. We had a lot of fun adventures together... like usual. LOVE this GIRL.

This was at the bookfair. We took all the kids to. It was so fun. I think I made out like a bandit. With about 10 books for O. Woot!

I let my niece paint Owen's face too. He was our little Indian war Baby for the night.

My older brother let me take my niece, J for a ride and it was fun. I only killed it twice too!

A couple of these are from us swimming. Owen loved the water. But I'm not surprised.

This was the first time O was ever on a horse and he smiled and laughed the entire time. He even got mad when we finally made him get off. He is a natural outdoorsman. I can't wait until he is a little bigger to do more fun stuff with him.

I would say it was a pretty successful couple of weeks and week/end. I have loved being home and spending time with my family and my friends. Soon it will be back to Michigan. But I am excited to get back and get started on a bunch of stuff to come up in the future. A 5K, Owen's 1st Birthday, decorating and EVENT PLANNING. We are excited for what is in store in our little family. (:

Wonderful things to come.

While I have a free minute I have a few things that I want ya'll to know. First, poor O has been sick for what seems forever. On Saturday night he really scared me with his coughing and wheezing. So back to the hospital we went. He had to have chest xrays and all sorts of stuff. It was NOT fun. But he was such a big boy and did so well. The diagnosis was a virus, no RSV thank goodness. They did put him on some breathing treatments though. Every 4 hours or as needed. Which is about accurate, more so at night.

I've also been slaving away at getting things together for my company!! I am now officially an Event Coordinator. I have my first few events in the books and am always looking for more things to keep me busy (So if you're interested... wink wink). A couple of birthday parties and an anniversary party so far. But weddings and such are what I would really LOVE to do. I will get there. I know you are all thinking, "Can she take on another earthly thing?"

Well I am actually really glad to be so busy. Just not while O is sick.

I also have been trying to workout every night after he is in bed. It has been working out pretty nicely and I am finally seeing results. After a little over 10 months I can finally see what used to be my body... or close to it. I know that it is altered a little but I think I will be pretty happy to be able to wear swimsuit again this summer. Holler! I am EXHAUSTED... But I will leave you with a picture of my little helper. Have a good night ya'll. xoxo

A long week.

I have spent most of this week with a sick little ginger baby. First, it was the flu and now it is a massive cold/respiratory problem that has me WORN out. I basically haven't been sleeping at all at night because Owen has had fevers, puking, and just can't get comfy. I get a couple of hours during the day. It has got me feeling not so good today. Either way, I don't care because Owen is So snuggly, lovey to his Mama even. For that I am grateful.

Thursday, even though we were both exhausted and sicky we went to Stephen's sister's wedding. It was very intimate with just a few family members. (wish hubby could've been there) Nevertheless, it was good to get out of the house for a couple of hours.

Last night we went to Genji, a Japanese Steakhouse. SO GOOD. I had never been to one before and they prepare the food in front of you and do some cool tricks with their spatulas and knives and stuff. I will definitely be going back, especially when Owen is awake to enjoy it too. Poor bug, zonked out a few minutes after we got there.

On another note... Can you believe that O is 10 months already?! I cannot. He is doing miraculous things. It amazes me at how smart he is and is learning new things everyday. Just yesterday he said puppy and started pointing to different animals in one of his books when asking him where each one was. He also, while in Target last night was waving at different people as we walked by them and then started clapping at each one of them. It was the CUTEST thing I have ever seen.

He also LOVES to talk to Stephen. He says Hi Dad or Dada and that is all he says just about all day long. Unless it is Mommy Boobie. Meaning he is hungry. I am trying to teach him some sign language now so that we can communicate a little better and I can understand what in the heck he wants. He says "Uh-huh" and "No" (while shaking his head back and forth) Adorable! He says " I love you" and a bunch of other gibberish too. But I am Loving this and being a mom. So the lack of sleep is alright because the rest of the time it is so very much worth to spend time with my little Chubber and see him learn new things, while I am learning from him too!

I can't forget that he is walking! Well when he wants to. But, it is a start and I am amazed at his little stagger. Growing boy. We sure love him.

If anyone is curious, Stephen is doing well in that far off land. You know the one with the war going on. I get to talk to him often, and when I don't he always tries to send me a short email here or there. It uplifts me and keeps me motivated. I sure love that other Ginger Boy of mine. That brings me to my next point.. we have known each other for an entire year. It is crazy to think about all of the things that have happened in the last year. Mainly, giving birth to O and getting married! All in the same year. Pretty amazing to me. Can't wait to see what years 2- a million are like. (: Love you Hon-ay!

The longest absence ever..

It has been almost 3 whole months since I have graced you with my presence. I open my blog every few days and just sit. I have a million things that I want to say and stories that I want to tell you about Owen and LIFE! I just have had zero motivation to do it. I don't sleep at night, so after O is in bed I clean and bake and cook and read and put off bedtime until all hours of the night. I have GOT to stop doing this. Although, I don't get much done during the day while Owen is running 90 miles an hour, I need to be worth a crap. After much contemplation, I decided that to kind of gather my thoughts and put my ducks in a row I needed some ME time. So, today I went and had a one hour deep tissue massage. It was honestly the BEST thing I could have done. At first, my mind would not shut off FOREVER. Then I finally just took a deep breath and gave in to some relaxation. It actually did me so much good. I am such a high strung individual and it put things in to perspective for me. I need to do the best that I can and the rest will fall into place. Living the army life is not EASY  by any means. It stresses you out and brings you down. It throws you on a rollercoaster and doesn't let you off until you're puking or red in the face. Although I don't have much patience, I know that by learning to go with the flow of things that I am MUCH BETTER OFF. Don't worry ya'll I am back and in full swing. You will be seeing A LOT more of me. Thank goodness. xoxo

A realization and a bucketlist..

As I was playing on Pinterest this morning, I kept thinking of the things that I wanted to do while I'm here in Michigan. The list got longer and longer. Then I thought what about the things that I would do if I had no limits. My Bucket list was born. I will probably be adding things to it for a long time. But, I just want everyone to know how important it is for me to live my life. I want to have bad days and good days and laugh and cry. I want to make a difference in someone's life. I believe that through my writing I am doing such a thing. I came across this picture....

It is of a section of a house in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. An artist turned this house into an amazing interactive public art project. People from near and far come to write on this "chalk board" house. They write what they want to do before they die. Some of them are so touching and some are heartbreaking. In the past month there have been many deaths around me. I have not been very close to the people that have passed on, but I can say that they left an impact in my life, even if it be small, it has made me stop and think about what IS IMPORTANT. Did those people get to do the things that they had planned to do before they passed? Some probably... others no. I am challenging myself to start living and loving more and challenge all of you who read this to choose one thing... be it great or small and go out and do it! We have so many consequences in life and sometimes that is all we think about. What is this going to do if I do this? Sometimes we need to take a leap of faith  and go do something we love or something that we haven't done before. Life is short... so live it to the fullest!